Bad habit

It’s almost been a month since we called it quits. Most people say that’s how long it takes to get over an addiction.
But when will the pain go away?

I now realize we had grown dependent on each other, in a way like a bad habit. We demanded each other’s attention, but could never fully satisfy our individual yearnings or needs.
But when will the cravings stay away?

As I continue to walk away from you à la cold turkey, I know this is for the best. I’m opening myself up to new possibilities, opportunities, and life experiences.
But when will our memories fade away.

What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, ‘This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!’ Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, ‘Never have I heard anything more divine’?
Friedrich Nietzsche (via kushandwizdom)
At 19, I read a sentence that re-terraformed my head: “The level of matter in the universe has been constant since the Big Bang.”
In all the aeons we have lost nothing, we have gained nothing - not a speck, not a grain, not a breath. The universe is simply a sealed, twisting kaleidoscope that has reordered itself a trillion trillion trillion times over.
Each baby, then, is a unique collision - a cocktail, a remix - of all that has come before: made from molecules of Napoleon and stardust and comets and whale tooth; colloidal mercury and Cleopatra’s breath: and with the same darkness that is between the stars between, and inside, our own atoms.
When you know this, you suddenly see the crowded top deck of the bus, in the rain, as a miracle: this collection of people is by way of a starburst constellation. Families are bright, irregular-shaped nebulae. Finding a person you love is like galaxies colliding. We are all peculiar, unrepeatable, perambulating micro-universes - we have never been before and we will never be again. Oh God, the sheer exuberant, unlikely fact of our existences. The honour of being alive. They will never be able to make you again. Don’t you dare waste a second of it thinking something better will happen when it ends. Don’t you dare.
Caitlin Moran (via scatteredandshining)
Please, be proud of the pieces that make you, you. Embrace the oddities and hold on to them with everything you have. These strange little quirks belong to us, and only us and they are absolutely vital in creating the bigger picture that is who we are. Be proud of yourself, because if you are, it never matters who else is. Because when we are, the inevitability of other people believing in you and being proud of you, is such an amazing bonus to the strength you already possess.